Saturday, December 31, 2005

“You never call, you never write”: On a friendship that never happened

Last year, I met someone whom I thought would be really great to have as a friend, someone intelligent and articulate, with a wonderful sense of humor and a strong commitment to Jewish practice. Unfortunately, after a few months, I noticed that my correspondence was no longer being answered. For lack of an alternative, I was forced to conclude that I was far more interested in this friendship than the other party was. It was a great disappointment.

This isn’t the first time that this has happened to me (and, sadly, I suppose there’s no guarantee that it will be the last). When I was in college, I joined an organization for the express purpose of getting to know a particular member of that organization better. I was surprised and dismayed when someone else was assigned to be my mentor.

I’m curious as to how other people handle this sort of situation. Is it just one of those things that one must simply swallow hard and accept? Alternatively, have I been going about the pursuit of friendship in the wrong way? Is it possible that an obvious eagerness to make friends with someone can be off-putting to some people? Any suggests, advice, and/or just good old-fashioned hand-holding would be appreciated.


Blogger Jack Steiner said...

I think that some people have a very hard time making the effort to keep up a frienship that exists, let alone a new one.

It is not a nice thing, but sometimes I think that they just take the easy way out.

Mon Jan 02, 03:25:00 AM 2006  
Blogger Shira Salamone said...

Guilty as charged: I let a friendship lapse after an old friend from shul joined another shul and we ran out of our favorite conversation topic, namely, our formerly-mutual-rabbi's sermons. So I suppose this is indirect payback for *my* having taken the easy way out.

Mon Jan 02, 09:09:00 AM 2006  

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